I open my email and find a message from a friend, confirming my plans for our visit. Another from my adopted family asking me to stay with them, expressing joy that they will see me.
A call from a friend who visits a couple times a year; 'do I want to go climbing?'
A text; 'do I want to visit the cottage this weekend?'
A messenger message filled with excitement and a travel itinerary for our climbing adventure this month.
The phone rings and I see it is a call from my son. I remember, I am loved.
Teary-eyed as my fingers move across the keypad I am sitting in the pain of goodbye and the full force of my love in my heart.
I have spent months, weeks, days holding back the feelings that have been continually trying to wash up on the shores of my heart. I have been busy with 'doing' all the things that need to be done. I have been steeling myself from the feelings around any of it.
Eventually, even rocks roll and tumble when battered by the waves for long enough. Saying good bye to a job that no longer allowed me to grow; saying good bye to a community ready to fly on its own; saying good bye to my son, again. Letting all things grow and evolve is true love.